Yup, this blog was dead alright.. for god knows how long.. But who cares, I'm having fun like I've never had for quite some time!

I find myself having wierd tastes in music recently.. I've switched back to boy band music, appreciate old school and classical music, and listen to a middle-aged man singing as though he was a woman in her 20s.. Still, no denying that they are all quality music, and enjoyable to my ears.. Mum thinks I've lost it..

Sad that attachment had to end already.. My last day was a slacky one, but one to enjoy.. Promised the peeps that I would come back to visit and hang out, and I have a "contract" with Annie to continue teaching her tennis.. This week has been used for doing up reports and finishing the remaining logbook entries I have for Victor (and slacking too)..

Just last Sunday, I attended Yong Hwa's (my cousin) wedding.. Its been some time since I attended a wedding of someone close.. It was just CNY this year that he brought his (back then) girlfriend to come visit.. In a matter of months, walla! He's really a wonderful guy when he jokes, and takes the impression that he's a maths geek (oops, sorry) off immediately.. Got a few pics with him, especially one with just the both of us.. First time I made such a request to the groom (hope my family didn't think I was drunk).. Anyway, congrats to him! They are a happily wed couple!

Took Ryl out to play batminton on Tuesday because I had some change of plans.. Yup, she enjoyed it, I think.. I thought 1 hour wouldn't have enough fun, but turns out she hit her limit there.. Glad she learnt a little, but she can be vicious when you give chance abit.. I thought for the first half an hour that she was randomly hitting her shots but no..... Didn't know you were so talented kiddo'

Kung Fu panda was really, really funny.. How long has it been since I've seen people take serious, martial arts films with deep history and throw random jokes into it? Think never.. But this one was worth while watching.. Laugh non-stop.. I don't think the Chinese one would be as funny, at least not for me.. I'll be too slow to catch the jokes..

Went out hunting for the same racket strings Irfan got for me (he's not my coach anymore).. Met Annie at Queensway.. Despite the large number of shops at Queensway, I couldn't get exactly what I want! Argh.. Long story: A didn't have 1 but had 2, B had 2 but didn't have 1, and C had both but charged really high and was snobbish.. Had to settle for A, since it was cheap (reasonably) and a price worth experimenting.. Then we met Victor at the Ikea restaurant.. Good news is, he's playing batminton with us.. Bad news, he failed his IPPT.. Heard it was 1 of the stations that he failed.. Haiz.. Poor guy.. But he gave a very funny excuse though.. Was laughing at it non-stop..

Ho boy.. It's Thursday and I haven't finished my final report! I've started, but there's too much to write, and my vocabulary has been pushed to the limit already! (Those who know me know that my vocab is not very powerful) Just so much to write, but I'm too lazy to think.. Wish there was a voice recorder which can record what I say and type it in for me.. And my dumb weekly report caused me some problems that I had to stay up till now to settle..

Gotta head back to school tomorrow.. Seems Dr Ooi wants to start on the project already.. Ah, just great.. Been waiting to go back for a good reason.. But hope I won't be haunted for the report yet..

So, its almost 3 months.. Since then, things changed so much.. Life was so different then, compared to now.. Ever heard of the saying: "You lose some, you gain some"? Yea.. That's what happened..

For starters, I lost involvement in both my CCAs.. Went for the tennis team trials some time back, but failed to get past.. I thought I was playing alright, yea some dumb mistakes.. But no idea how I failed to get in to the provisional 19.. Oh well, might as well give the next batch of freshmen their shot at glory.. This year's team looks especially strong.. I know they can do very well..

I ran for this year's main comm.. Didn't get in.. Yea, what to expect.. Things are different now, and I acknowledge all the mistakes which I've made (no matter how minor) which led to the downfall of the trust of all the people who were working with me.. Still, thanks for encouraging me till the end of FOC, and all the best to the new committee..

*deep breath out* so that's 2 responsibilities off my chest.. Might say that I've changed since taking up more responsibilities.. But what's good if you change? What really got you into such a position in the first place? Its what you did at the start, who you were in the beginning.. I've not been myself for a long, long time.. Freeing me of these responsibilities have given me the chance to be myself again, and I want to! To the friends I have remaining, I promise to be the guy you first met again.. So thanks for sticking by and not changing one bit.. To my new friends, I'm here to offer my time to hang out, and enjoy myself again! Do what I enjoy, say what my heart really feels (oh, that brings back an old rallying cheer)

Anyway, relationship is not something that's been going smoothly too.. Won't want to reveal details here.. I feel differently about it compared to last time.. Either way, we're leaving it to later.. I don't want to make a hasty decision now and be at the end of regret..

If I'm to really pour out more details, I'd need a private blog.. Been wanting to change this blog into something more of an online personal diary.. Then I won't have to worry about people commenting on how dead this blog can be :P

Anyway, Happy 10th Month Anniversary dear.. Happy, maybe not, but its still 20th June..

Wee~ I didn't know OT felt so good.. On Thursday, I worked OT after I was allowed to do blood aliquoting.. So I did about 192 samples on that day, half of the before lunch and the rest in the late afternoon.. Then my company ordered tea break snacks for everyone.. I had a good time sharing funny times with my collegue.. Up till now, I don't know how to spell his name.. We talked about soccer in the morning, songs in the afternoon, and the wacky experiences we had before.. Sad he's gonna end his project there already and leave the lab on the week I return from my leave.. I won't have a buddy in the lab for the rest of my attachment..

Today (Friday 28th March) was a total opposite from yesterday.. It was so boring.. I just went to the store room to search for samples, fill the ethanol tank and rushed to confirm reports.. Other than that, I was making up for the log book entries I haven't written.. Then I would stone and read whatever I can get my hands on.. Boring, not how I'd like to end the week before going onn leave..

Then back to school for night walk recce.. I kinda regret not volunteering to go to block 50 to do scaring or walk the nightwalk.. Wow, not only the atmosphere was great, the chances of scaring were purely irresistable! Maybe I'm just bored of the old block 80 places.. But I won't get to do full time scaring this time though.. Leave it to the other seniors to have fun..

My weekend is pretty much off, unless I'm needed somewhere for camp stuff.. Time I prepared for camp..

Dad left last Saturday.. Went to flag painting super late cuz I wanted to send him off after I didn't spend enough time with him.. It was Dr Kenny Yaw's wife's birthday as well.. So mum went to buy a cake and bouquet of flowers after Dr Yaw called and asked her for the favour.. Its ok, but the session at night lasted really long, especially after the celebration..

Flag painting was fun.. But it had to get serious after time became an issue and the attitude of some GLs.. Oh well, I'm just happy they were all done up well in the end.. The banner was deffinitely nicer than last year's though.. Haha.. Job well done GLs

I've got a song stuck well in my head already.. After it keeps playing so often on the radio in my lab.. I didn't really like it, but I find it kinda catchy now.. After I told my collegue about it playing so often, he kept making fun of me saying its my "favourite song".. So my other collegues will ask "Is that your favourite song?" when we both turn to the radio and laugh when the song plays.. Oh well, I like it now anyway..

Yesterday was so boring in the lab.. It was paper work all the way.. Almost didn't even had to put on my labcoat.. Today was a bit different though.. Was busy busy after 10am, but it was fun.. Got a new project to do, while my previous project is still not really completed.. That's what I was kinda looking forward to.. Then a senior came over to meet us for lunch time.. Seen him in school before, but don't know him..

Very tired now.. Don't know why, I got scolded by mum over the phone when I called home to tell her I was working OT and only just left my work place.. I mean, there was totally 0 reason for her to scold me at all.. Nothing which would seem logical.. Now, half her sentences to me would be scoldings.. I don't know what's got into her, but talking to her is not a pleasant thing right now..

Anyway, I can't wait to try out the new project tomorrow.. Its something that's gonna take lots of time and effort, and its something new.. So I'm looking forward to it!

FOC is in a week's time! I hope the GLs are really ready for the camp itself.. I'm ready to make it go smoothly.. Ready to use up all my energy again like it did last year.. Ready to take criticism again.. I may not have everyone's trust like last year, or maybe not as much anymore, but I'm still gunning for success in the camp.. Its a bigger role this time around, so I've got to take a bigger responsibility.. For this, I have to believe in myself again.. After the camp, whatever happens won't have much of a bearing anymore..

I need to rest to make the best out of an enjoyable day at work tomorrow.. So happens that where I'm working at now is what I want to do in the future.. I didn't realise it until a collegue told me about it today.. Hmm, let's see if I can get into a university first.. But I'll enrol into bed now first.. Tired already

The weekend was quite ok.. I got to go down to school to check out how things were.. Its good that what ever little I've done, pans out to be alright in the end.. I'm thankful for that..

Got to spend time with dad, for what probably is, the longest time since he's been back.. Went to play soccer at the field with my sis, and he came along.. So we got the "lao jiang" (direct translates to old champ) to show us what he was still capable of.. And I do mean, "jiang".. It was really fun! Then it was labour again, as I moved the old TV to my grandma's place.. We got a new TV after renewing our home internet plan.. So my grandma would have a bigger TV at her place now.. Still, climbing 4 stories up with that TV was crazy, even when dad was carrying it on the other side.. Ryl just kept "cheering".. I laughed too much that we had to stop for a while since I can't carry.. Getting it to the stairs was one thing, and carrying it up was another!

Then we went to Godpa's place.. Supposed to only have dinner there, but it actually turned out to be Godma's birthday as well! She so pai seh until she cut her cake once she brought it out of the freezer.. We haven't even put the candles on, let alone sing the birthday song.. I missed my cousins.. Quite a while since I've seen them together.. Recently, it would be the bad timings that disallow me to sit around and talk with them..

3 straight days of fieldwork kills!

This means waking up 6.30 in the morning and heading out to Changi Ferry Terminal.. I'm really tired, but there's lotsa blood samples to be drawn and collected there.. Today, it was just me and Janet as "traffic" wasn't expected to be high.. I'm still wondering how 300+ totally different names can appear in one construction site! What's worst is, when some people don't register early enough, I'll have to write their freakin' long name down twice!

For the past few weeks, I've been preparing solutions for my Turkey cell cultures.. Its really labour intensive, and yet it takes some time before it actually is ready for use.. I said that it was like some kind of wine.. The fieldwork and Turkey cell preperation is enough to sap out my energy.. I miss the PCR days! But so happened, during my free time today, I got to do one run! I got all my PCR reports into my book at last! I was too lazy to print my last run, so I would go back to the lab tomorrow and finish up what's left undone today..

I got to play tennis with Hao Ming yesterday.. He's one of my collegues in the lab.. I haven't played for quite sometime, since my second common tests to be exact.. It was good that I could still hit and move around, but not as good as last time though.. I wanna play more! The game ended at 6-3 4-5, with me winning the first set while the second hung in the balance.. Well, not really, I was just making a comeback to make the score look more even..

Hmm, I feel that somethings I've mentioned in my last post was kinda "off".. Well, someone gave me a little pep talk.. It woke me up, and I think I'm happier now that I want to improve on what I have been doing so far.. So, I'll sincerely apologise to my fellow organizer.. Davin, so sorry! Its me that should really change my way of doing things, but I still hope you'll communicate with me more and share what you're thinking and what your plans are..

Still, there are other things that haven't really been settled yet, but we'll leave it to another time..

I got a day off tomorrow! Well, not really.. My safety induction was brought forward, so I still have to go back to work.. And after that, I would still need to go to the lab to finish my 2 reports, and then it down to school.. I hope the GLs are doing well.. Had a good laugh with a few of them on Monday.. Really had a good "insight" to their thoughts..

Hmm, 130 forms to colate, 26 down, and 104 more to go.. Tired tired.. Maybe I'll continue it tomorrow.. The long weekend seems to be kicking in already!

3 weeks since my exams... 3 weeks since I last posted something here... Been a while... So has it been a time for me to unwind and relax for a long time...

My attachment has been a really enjoyable one... I love the environment here... I think its great to have collegues like these, and a supervisor that makes my work enjoyable... Though the harsh security, the guards at the front desk are really friendly... I'm just bothered over not being able to have my phone with me during work... Its crazily tough to communicate with people and tough for people to reach me... I thought I would have my old 6610 for it but it died out on me the first morning of my attachment... Till now, I've yet to find a replacement battery for it...

Now somethings really puzzles me, and puzzles me till I'm stressed... Its the simplest things in life that make things so complicated in the end...

Dad came back when I was away at Trial Camp... I wasn't there the morning he came back... Right now, I don't spend more than an hour with him a day... Mum complains to me how he is useless around the house, and how he sometimes complains about my maid's cooking... I think he should do something when he's here... He doesn't bother finding out things from me now that he can talk to me in person... I don't see him helping at all... Maybe he should have came back during my sister's exams so that he can help her without her having to bug me... At least one thing he's got right is playing mahjong with my grandma now... I'm happy that he's putting a smile on my grandma's face just by his presence alone... Anyway, I think he's just too ignorant about things around the house... What bothers me here is, what does he want to do when he came back?

Mum is no different either... She's just focused on work... Sure she comes back and has a few laughs with my sister, and scolds me for almost everything I do... She doesn't pay attention to me as much now... She thinks there are more important things to remember (like her work) than her family... I still make sure I tell her where I'm going... But she'll just ask me on the day itself again... And asks as though I'm in the wrong... Its not like I don't tell her... She doesn't pay attention to it! I even gave up asking her why she doesn't remember... I'll always get back the same reason: "I've got better things to remember than this"... Is work all that matters to you now?

Trial camp looked like a great success... I feel that it has spurred lots of my GLs to become very motivated to do Trial Camp well... I'm happy for them, if I have done something which have contributed to it... But really, I feel that I don't...

I really feel that my fellow SGLs (and maybe my AGLs) have picked the wrong person for the job... The wrong person to take the post of vice-president, the wrong person to run the trial camp and FOC... I don't know what to do, and the people around me don't teach me things... I only learn when I make my mistakes during the time of the event, which is really, too late for me to apply anything... I fully agree now that being a welfare GL in FOC sucks... I come back as a useless SGL... I don't know anything... My co-organizer knows it all, and does everything on his own... Some times I feel as though he makes all the decisions... Finance, logistics, camp schedule, down to what I should know more, the welfare... Am I that useless? I don't see myself in doing anything that contributes now... He thinks that we should be working to each others strengths, which is he does all the background work, while I work when the actual camp is... I don't like this system! Ron did it... He had his share of work during the organizing of the camps... His partner was a games committee member... I don't see why it doesn't work out for me as well... I'm not supposed to mention this here, but its just part of what I want to vent out...

Another thing that contributes to the thought is that I really don't have the impact on my fellow seniors as well as my own seniors... I'm too soft, and when I try to get loud on things, they think I'm plainly shouting and disrespectful... I don't know what is really right... No one wants to tell me... So now, I've lost not only the respect from them, but also the trust they "had" in me... I feel so weak, that I've lost my composure twice and broken down just as much... I really didn't have to... But I know I'm not superman anymore, and its time I let things flow out... So I don't feel that sitting in this "vice-president" position is really the right thing... I don't think I'm cut out for something as big as this anymore... I don't think I have any real friends now... I've lost my faith in myself, completely...

My grades didn't look good either... I expected an A from my immunology... Turned out to only be a B+... And I was so confident on that paper... I thought there would be some hope from this semester after all... The difference of an A to a B+ is so great... My GPA was really far from what I expected... I really hope that its me not being hardworking enough, but I can't help thinking that I'm becoming stupid...

My relationship isn't helping me ease any of these things either... She wants me to be happy, to relieve and take away my unhappiness... Instead, she giving me the unecessary stress as well... Maybe I'm not doing my part in keeping the relationship fresh... Maybe I'm unable to commit to it like I used to... I hope she really understands that being together in the same school is just a small added bonus to our relationship and not over exploit it...

She was the one who asked me to go watch "Step Up 2" on our anniversary... Yet, she went to watch it with her friends and only telling me so late on... That's the second movie which I wanted to watch so much, but she watched it with others... I've already given up alot for her, and I feel she's one of the few valuables that I can really call mine... If she's not there to spend my free time with, who or what will? What saddens me more about this is that I was told by my supervisor that I would most probably have the day off this coming Thursday... And so happens, its the 20th... Even god is helping me... Now I don't see the need for me to spend our anniversary together when she doesn't appreciate it... Mind you, its not all about the gifts that matters ok?! She claims she is strong, that she can take care of herself... Is it? Really? I don't see that... She's still that small little girl after all...

Actually, I was just picking myself up and wanting to talk to her again today... But just when I saw her unwell again, I just thought that it was going to be the same as the last time... Anyway, I just think that she can't keep to her promise of taking care of herself... How does she want to take away my sadness when she can't even take care of herself? I just thought, forget it, leave things the way it is now... I can't find happiness in this...

Sorry if I did reveal things that shouldn't have been told... Sorry that I've dissapointed people who held me for something... That I broken anything that I promised... But I will keep to my promise that I will run this FOC well, because it is not my event alone... Sorry if I have offended anyone... Sorry if I had made anyone dislike me more... Sorry if I wasted anyone's time reading this... Sorry I took the path of all these and caused the unhappiness... Sorry for being so useless... Sorry if I had made anyone sad... Its not what I should have done, but I've done it all wrong, and I feel the worst now...

Exams are over (ya, that was quite some time ago), and I've had an enjoyable weekend to celebrate it!

On the evening of the immuno paper, I went out with a few peeps to celebrate the Denyse's birthday.. Steamboat was nice, though I would have pretty much be sick of it after that dinner.. I had dear for company, and she likes me "feeding" her.. Don't know if anyone got that..

On the next day, I went out with dear to celebrate a belated anniversary! Yup, 6th month already! Time passes fast.. We went to watch P.S. I love you.. Suprisingly, lotsa people were watching this show.. Maybe everyone were having a belated valentine/anniversary as well.. Then we went to get couple shirts.. Its quite simple, but we both eyed for the same design.. I find it really cute, though it could have came with more designs on it.. I only went to collect it with her today (Saturday, 1st March)..

Attachment has started for me.. I've got loads to tell, but very little energy left to go on.. So I'll leave it till the next post (hopefully soon) to talk about it more.. *yawn*

My First Valentine's Day

Not the usual ways couples would spend it - studying together that is... The company still made it special for me... Dear came over to my place to study! I always love my time with dear, even if its at home, cuz she makes it that much cozier... We struggled to find the study mood, and still had each other as little distractions along the way... Enjoyed the whole time studying with you dear!

We exchanged presents when we got into the house... Dear gave me 2 "presents" when we met at the station actually... My Organic and Inorganic Chem Reference book and the older Nokia handphone charger I need for my attachment... So sweet of her to remember that I'll need it!

Dear made me lots of things for V'day!


A big jar of cookies and a small V'day card! Your xiao zhu is very happy to get cookies dear! Especially the one shaped "I<3U", can't bear to eat it!


Some chocolates she melted and molded... Dear scared not tasty at all but we sampled some and it turned out great!

And of course, I had to do something for her as well





Made it on my own, after buying the flowers and wrappings... Gave it to her with some chocolates... Darling, in a few days, the bouquet will "tell" you something! Hope you get the hint!

Went out at 6+ for dinner with dear... Just as we were walking out of the estate, Mr Mak called and told me that my application for DSO got rejected, but I got accepted in the IMCB lab in Biopolis! I'm just happy I'm not stranded for my IAP, and I won't have to travel far from the MRT station to and from work...

Everywhere was crowded at Parkway, so we settled for delifrance... We were both hungry from all the studying... Luckily they had bake rice, which was what dear intended to eat if we went to Swenson's... She wanted ice cream after dinner, but she was too full to eat anymore after the meal...

Sent dear to the MRT station... Didn't want to part her from my arms, not on my first Valentine's Day... I wish it wasn't exams tomorrow (total spoiler)... Walked out of the station in time to catch a bus home...

I got home to read dear's small card which came along with the cookies, and her E-card as well... I was so touched by the simple words in the E-card and the music that came along with the animation that I started to tear...

Haha, I've never cried out of happiness before! Its that special to me! Thanks darling! I love you! Wonder if I can find that background music anywhere... Won't show the words that follow though, this post mushy enough already...



Studying is probably the only spoiler now... Vanessa was kinda right when I talked to her last night, its hard to study when you're in Valentine's mood... We've both got papers tomorrow, and its time I did memory work... Hope dear is able to manage well! Take care my love! I'm always with you, right by your side! Thanks for making my first Valentine's Day so special! Happy Valentine's Day!

14th February!
Happy Valentine's Day Dear!

And of course, Happy Valentine's day to everyone out there, whether you celebrate it or not.

Went to school for a while today (Wednesday 13th Feb). Thought it was meant to be a revision session for Immuno, turns out to be a question and answer, and dicussing past year paper. So I left after the Q&A.

Went to a few places and got stuff for V'day... Will post pictures of my creation after the dinner, just in case dear gets a sneak preview here... Gonna be unable to study in the evening later... WIll be going out for dinner with dear... Our first Valentine's Day together! This will be the first time I won't spend it alone!

Charmaine has flown back to Aussie... Didn't see her much despite her long time back in SG... But one guy sure did (you know who you are)... Didn't go send her off cuz I must be a good brother and take care of the kiddo at home, and I'll kinda look kinda califare over there with Alvin and their family gathering... Take care Charmaine, have a safe flight!

Well, about mugging, still sucks... I'm totally unprepared for DBG, and I can't study... Lost the concentration already... FOC and Trial Camp hovering around in my mind... I wanna study! I don't wanna get anything below a B this semester (well, maybe except my BIF :p)Feel so stupid not being able to score well last sem

Okie, back to mugging...