Monday, August 27, 2007
Days without dear have really been going bad... It always starts on a high note, but drops really badly, probably cuz i always feel insecure not having her for so long...
I'm already missing her on Saturday even though I went to school to spend that short amount of time with her on Friday... I even thought we weren't talking enough to each other...
The learning to lead module started today... It was really boring at times, but had to show some enthusiasm in it also... Then Denyse got bored and "screamed" on my paper... I just added some stuff to it and it turned out:
Then it was lunch time... I msged dear immediately when we got out of the room... I miss her! I miss her like crazy! I want her in my arms again, but i'll have to make do with what I have now: the handphone... I didn't get her message as I'd hope, not during the whole hour... I started thinking more and more after that... Am I being fooled with today? Even the noodle stall auntie had to upset my lunch by giving me a totally different order... I went back to continue the lesson without talking to dear...
Throughout the lesson, I was just drawing and drawing on almost all of my notes...
again...
and again...
...and again
I left my handphone in my jacket pocket, and I didn't want to take it out cuz the room was really quiet... Will reflect badly on me as well, since I already wasn't myself today...
It was only after class that I saw the 2 messages from dear... They weren't much, just to tell me where she was... I replied, thinking she'll be available for me again... Went to block 1 cuz Wei San needed to submit stuff, then went to KAP for early dinner... I want Dear! She still hasn't replied... I only had my phone's background picture to look at...
Dear's message came when we finished eating... By then, I was already feeling sad... Our timing was really off today I guess... We weren't with our phones when the other replied... And only exchanged a few messages... Then I started doubting her, and had lots of silly thoughts... I think I'm expecting too much out of our relationship at this point of time, and I'm hurting her in the process... I'm sorry dear...
Forgive me... I'm also largely at fault, and I shouldn't have put you through so much pain... I shouldn't have caused all these for you, you didn't deserve it...
Things are alright now I guess... I've learnt to treasure her more through this incident... She still does feel sad, over something else... Just wanna say I still love her just as much, and i'll protect her heart as much as possible...
I'm already missing her on Saturday even though I went to school to spend that short amount of time with her on Friday... I even thought we weren't talking enough to each other...
The learning to lead module started today... It was really boring at times, but had to show some enthusiasm in it also... Then Denyse got bored and "screamed" on my paper... I just added some stuff to it and it turned out:
Then it was lunch time... I msged dear immediately when we got out of the room... I miss her! I miss her like crazy! I want her in my arms again, but i'll have to make do with what I have now: the handphone... I didn't get her message as I'd hope, not during the whole hour... I started thinking more and more after that... Am I being fooled with today? Even the noodle stall auntie had to upset my lunch by giving me a totally different order... I went back to continue the lesson without talking to dear...
Throughout the lesson, I was just drawing and drawing on almost all of my notes...
again...
and again...
...and again
I left my handphone in my jacket pocket, and I didn't want to take it out cuz the room was really quiet... Will reflect badly on me as well, since I already wasn't myself today...
It was only after class that I saw the 2 messages from dear... They weren't much, just to tell me where she was... I replied, thinking she'll be available for me again... Went to block 1 cuz Wei San needed to submit stuff, then went to KAP for early dinner... I want Dear! She still hasn't replied... I only had my phone's background picture to look at...
Dear's message came when we finished eating... By then, I was already feeling sad... Our timing was really off today I guess... We weren't with our phones when the other replied... And only exchanged a few messages... Then I started doubting her, and had lots of silly thoughts... I think I'm expecting too much out of our relationship at this point of time, and I'm hurting her in the process... I'm sorry dear...
Forgive me... I'm also largely at fault, and I shouldn't have put you through so much pain... I shouldn't have caused all these for you, you didn't deserve it...
Things are alright now I guess... I've learnt to treasure her more through this incident... She still does feel sad, over something else... Just wanna say I still love her just as much, and i'll protect her heart as much as possible...