Sunday, July 15, 2007
Things don't seem to make sense to me... What the hell is happening to my life?!
The aftermath of selecting the instructors doesn't look all that ok... I just wanna thank my friendship with alvin wasn't affected, and I'm really proud of him for taking things well... Its better that he's still enthusiastic to come back... On the other hand, I know Steph is not happy at all with the result... I tried avoiding telling her about the results, but it had to be said when Alvin asked about the results... Steph was kinda sour on Friday then... She hardly looked at me when we were at the emart and when 3 of us (Nadj Alvin and me) met her going to SIM... Haiz... Hong Kai warned me about this the night before, and I chose not to take his words seriously... Worst of, she could joke and laugh with XL during lecture while I had this to take...
I thought it blew over when I saw her at the emart... We could laugh and joke, sit next to each other and take turns playing games after school... My perception changed after I read her blog... She's still bothered about it... I really don't know what I'm to do... My head would be on the chopping block soon, I think...
I saw Sylvia at the event on Friday... She sat down and had a chat with me and Darren... Turns out she and Darren were classmates back in kindergarden and live really close to each other! Small world... At the end of the event, my mum had to come and shoot off her mouth... Think it offended Sylvia a little... Hope she doesn't mind or think too much about it...
I did a little community service yesterday... It lasted longer than I expected though, but the organization people were really nice, they fed us food and drinks and I didn't feel hungry at all, not until I reached home... Man, I regretted only packing one box of Nasi Lemak home... But it was great! The changed after the paint job was great!
Before
After
Haiz, I think I wasted time today worrying and thinking of performing well at training... I got there, so eager and rearing to go and prove myself... Before training, Irfan even gave a talk about the NYP match and talked about how future line-ups can be, after he watched every school play last week... I thought my chances of playing were given a new life when he mentioned me as a possible player for the second doubles... I tried playing, and handled Donovan's shots well today... Then the doubles was really stupid... I felt a small gastric pain towards the end, and screwed up abit cuz I couldn't move well enough, but enough to finish the match... Then Fred held me back when he said he wanted to play another set... Crap... I thought I could do something else back at the main 2 courts... I had to agree with what Irfan said about Fred not giving a serious attitude about being in the team... He has no mantality whatsoever about playing for the team... Damn it man! If you don't want to play, at least give my chances a thought and play seriously will you?!
I thought I did well at doubles drill... I placed really nice smashes and only hit one ball out... Still, it wasn't enough to push for a spot... The line-up was decided and I asked if I was going to play tommorow... A negative answer came back... Shit man... I think I should just rebel... I thought that Irfan's words got into Derric's or Donovan's head, but I guessed wrong... If I'm not gonna be playing against ITE, what are my chances of playing in any of the other matches?! F***ing shit ****** *** ** ***!!!!!! I realised that what I felt before was nothing, but this is now pure anger and fueled hatred!!! RARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it because I don't have enough experience? Or the captains don't trust me? Is it just because I wasn't a super freshman when I came in, or is it because I'm not rich enough to play in a club like most of the others?
I feel so stupid... Looks like I wasted $65 on the stupid jerseys this year... I'm still foolish enough to think about going to the match tommorow... I can't decide... I don't know my priorities now... It was during the bus that I considered going for the SGLs meeting instead of the match... I don't know... Which am I to choose?
The aftermath of selecting the instructors doesn't look all that ok... I just wanna thank my friendship with alvin wasn't affected, and I'm really proud of him for taking things well... Its better that he's still enthusiastic to come back... On the other hand, I know Steph is not happy at all with the result... I tried avoiding telling her about the results, but it had to be said when Alvin asked about the results... Steph was kinda sour on Friday then... She hardly looked at me when we were at the emart and when 3 of us (Nadj Alvin and me) met her going to SIM... Haiz... Hong Kai warned me about this the night before, and I chose not to take his words seriously... Worst of, she could joke and laugh with XL during lecture while I had this to take...
I thought it blew over when I saw her at the emart... We could laugh and joke, sit next to each other and take turns playing games after school... My perception changed after I read her blog... She's still bothered about it... I really don't know what I'm to do... My head would be on the chopping block soon, I think...
I saw Sylvia at the event on Friday... She sat down and had a chat with me and Darren... Turns out she and Darren were classmates back in kindergarden and live really close to each other! Small world... At the end of the event, my mum had to come and shoot off her mouth... Think it offended Sylvia a little... Hope she doesn't mind or think too much about it...
I did a little community service yesterday... It lasted longer than I expected though, but the organization people were really nice, they fed us food and drinks and I didn't feel hungry at all, not until I reached home... Man, I regretted only packing one box of Nasi Lemak home... But it was great! The changed after the paint job was great!
Before
After
Haiz, I think I wasted time today worrying and thinking of performing well at training... I got there, so eager and rearing to go and prove myself... Before training, Irfan even gave a talk about the NYP match and talked about how future line-ups can be, after he watched every school play last week... I thought my chances of playing were given a new life when he mentioned me as a possible player for the second doubles... I tried playing, and handled Donovan's shots well today... Then the doubles was really stupid... I felt a small gastric pain towards the end, and screwed up abit cuz I couldn't move well enough, but enough to finish the match... Then Fred held me back when he said he wanted to play another set... Crap... I thought I could do something else back at the main 2 courts... I had to agree with what Irfan said about Fred not giving a serious attitude about being in the team... He has no mantality whatsoever about playing for the team... Damn it man! If you don't want to play, at least give my chances a thought and play seriously will you?!
I thought I did well at doubles drill... I placed really nice smashes and only hit one ball out... Still, it wasn't enough to push for a spot... The line-up was decided and I asked if I was going to play tommorow... A negative answer came back... Shit man... I think I should just rebel... I thought that Irfan's words got into Derric's or Donovan's head, but I guessed wrong... If I'm not gonna be playing against ITE, what are my chances of playing in any of the other matches?! F***ing shit ****** *** ** ***!!!!!! I realised that what I felt before was nothing, but this is now pure anger and fueled hatred!!! RARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it because I don't have enough experience? Or the captains don't trust me? Is it just because I wasn't a super freshman when I came in, or is it because I'm not rich enough to play in a club like most of the others?
I feel so stupid... Looks like I wasted $65 on the stupid jerseys this year... I'm still foolish enough to think about going to the match tommorow... I can't decide... I don't know my priorities now... It was during the bus that I considered going for the SGLs meeting instead of the match... I don't know... Which am I to choose?