Thursday, July 05, 2007
Everything started out wrong... My mum cut my sleeping hours short at 6am this morning by waking me up to help reprint my sister's work... Seems there was an error in the format when i printed it last night... But it wasn't my fault! I was only told to print it! Then I left house without my mp3 player... And knowing it was going to be a long day with long travelling hours, it really was a sucky feeling...
The interviews have finally ended..Though the turn out really aren't as large as we expected, I'm hoping we've got a batch with real quality this time... For that, the numbers would have been made up for...
I did a few interviews alone in the early hours... Seems I was the only one there and Alvin had to be outside... Some really interesting characters appeared, like the last applicant of the day... I couldn't help but laugh at his answers...
The meeting with the director was nothing out of the ordinary... Everyone was there... I didn't feel all that comfortable during the meeting... Just nothing seemed right... It was kinda boring too... I wanted to tilt my head back and close my eyes...
I left for training with Ron... He was on his way to the airport, and guess he wouldn't have made it unless he took a cab...
Training has become a pain for me... I hate almost everyone in the bloody team! I didn't have the mood to train, hit, or chase down balls... Just happy my serves got in nicely... Then when I had a chance to practice a match, someone had to make a complain to cancel it, probably cuz he heard I was playing... Ended up as a stupid drill... Wasted my time... I don't want drills! I know I won't improve much there! Everyone is talking about experience! I know I might not have as much experience as them! So why don't anyone help by letting me play to gain more? The changed jerseys came today... Irfan had quite some thought before giving me the only L sized shirt... Damn... If I'm not expected to play, why bother to give it to me anyway... I was just about to say those words when he handed it out to me...
When I was walking out of the area, I saw Cheryl, the new year 1 power girl... I thought it was just gonna be a simple goodbye and a smile... Seems she has notice my poor mood during training recently... "don't be so sad k"... These could have easily came from one of my friends... It was different, having from her... It was something which I really appreciated, felt warm about, and had the biggest impact... There's someone in the team at least, who takes notice of me... I'm deeply touched...
Just when the day couldn't end bad enough... I fell asleep on the bus home and I missed my stop... I had to waste more time walking home from the interchange... Just now, while I was trying to heat up the food, I spilled some water from the electric kettle on top of the oven... It splashed all over, costing me not only my dinner, but also a mess to clean up... While cleaning up, I leaned over the sink, thinking about the recent events... How sad it has been... I could have added to those water droplets in the sink without even turning on the tap, but mum was around... I didn't want to show anything, not in front of her, knowing it wouldn't do me any better...
Who do I have to turn to to seek more comfort and warmth? Nothing seems genuine now, even my passion for tennis... I've got no more determination... I'm giving in half-heartedness into everything... Even the meeting with the director... I felt so useless, not being able to list out any topics of concern during the time... I'm not doing enough as vp I guess... I didn't even dare to answer "yes" to Ron when he told me that I must have been under stress...
I really wish I could read minds... I don't know if I've got people hiding things from me, or how I feel when I gave them my comments? Was I too harsh? Was I doing enough to put the message across? Have I offended their pride? No one tells, until they compile it all and unleash it in a single tidal wave... Its gonna hurt bad, especially when I've seen people suffering from it...
Things won't look any better for the next few weeks I guess... I just wanna find out if I've got even the slightest chance to play in next Wednesday's opening match of the tournament... I wouldn't want to go then... I'd rather spend my time in the clubhouse then at TP watching by the sidelines... After all, is that the team I'm supposed to be part of?
The interviews have finally ended..Though the turn out really aren't as large as we expected, I'm hoping we've got a batch with real quality this time... For that, the numbers would have been made up for...
I did a few interviews alone in the early hours... Seems I was the only one there and Alvin had to be outside... Some really interesting characters appeared, like the last applicant of the day... I couldn't help but laugh at his answers...
The meeting with the director was nothing out of the ordinary... Everyone was there... I didn't feel all that comfortable during the meeting... Just nothing seemed right... It was kinda boring too... I wanted to tilt my head back and close my eyes...
I left for training with Ron... He was on his way to the airport, and guess he wouldn't have made it unless he took a cab...
Training has become a pain for me... I hate almost everyone in the bloody team! I didn't have the mood to train, hit, or chase down balls... Just happy my serves got in nicely... Then when I had a chance to practice a match, someone had to make a complain to cancel it, probably cuz he heard I was playing... Ended up as a stupid drill... Wasted my time... I don't want drills! I know I won't improve much there! Everyone is talking about experience! I know I might not have as much experience as them! So why don't anyone help by letting me play to gain more? The changed jerseys came today... Irfan had quite some thought before giving me the only L sized shirt... Damn... If I'm not expected to play, why bother to give it to me anyway... I was just about to say those words when he handed it out to me...
When I was walking out of the area, I saw Cheryl, the new year 1 power girl... I thought it was just gonna be a simple goodbye and a smile... Seems she has notice my poor mood during training recently... "don't be so sad k"... These could have easily came from one of my friends... It was different, having from her... It was something which I really appreciated, felt warm about, and had the biggest impact... There's someone in the team at least, who takes notice of me... I'm deeply touched...
Just when the day couldn't end bad enough... I fell asleep on the bus home and I missed my stop... I had to waste more time walking home from the interchange... Just now, while I was trying to heat up the food, I spilled some water from the electric kettle on top of the oven... It splashed all over, costing me not only my dinner, but also a mess to clean up... While cleaning up, I leaned over the sink, thinking about the recent events... How sad it has been... I could have added to those water droplets in the sink without even turning on the tap, but mum was around... I didn't want to show anything, not in front of her, knowing it wouldn't do me any better...
Who do I have to turn to to seek more comfort and warmth? Nothing seems genuine now, even my passion for tennis... I've got no more determination... I'm giving in half-heartedness into everything... Even the meeting with the director... I felt so useless, not being able to list out any topics of concern during the time... I'm not doing enough as vp I guess... I didn't even dare to answer "yes" to Ron when he told me that I must have been under stress...
I really wish I could read minds... I don't know if I've got people hiding things from me, or how I feel when I gave them my comments? Was I too harsh? Was I doing enough to put the message across? Have I offended their pride? No one tells, until they compile it all and unleash it in a single tidal wave... Its gonna hurt bad, especially when I've seen people suffering from it...
Things won't look any better for the next few weeks I guess... I just wanna find out if I've got even the slightest chance to play in next Wednesday's opening match of the tournament... I wouldn't want to go then... I'd rather spend my time in the clubhouse then at TP watching by the sidelines... After all, is that the team I'm supposed to be part of?