Monday, July 02, 2007
Ai Yai Yai! I've not even visited my own blog the past 3 weeks+.. Could kick up so much dust when I got here.. Even the pages load so slowly..
Its been really busy.. Holidays didn't seem like holidays, and I've been really busy.. I've met quite a few people, made some knew friends, and got to know more people better.. If I were to go through every activity over the holidays, its probably gonna be too big for this entry..
Now that school's started, I've gotta start placing studies under priority again.. Apart from that, there's lots to prioritize about.. Family, Work, Tennis, GLs, Friends, and maybe a new girl? Its all that's keeping me occupied.. I wanna play too! And I admitt, I've been using time in school alot for that..
But who really knows what I want.. I'm dead tired trying to strike a balance between everything.. Sure I've heard of "you can't have the best of both worlds", but I want the best of ALL the worlds! Ambitious, and probably stupid.. My common test papers have came back, and they are far from helping me achieve what I aim for this semester.. I keep thinking I can pull a miracle at the finish line like my OBC paper in year 1, but its all so far-fetched once I get knocked back down to earth..
Things in the team have only gotten worst for me.. Since the miraculous performance at the trials, my form has only slipped.. Was I at my peak then? Or maybe I've stopped watching Prince of Tennis? I've got no time, now that the tournament is just a little more than a week away.. I want to play for the team this year.. But everyone seems to be in a big click, which I'm not part of.. No one wants to pair with me for doubles drill, let alone practice doubles unless they are forced to.. Have I offended anyone? Said something wrong? It can't be my committment level.. TELL ME!!! I'M GOING NUTS!!! Its nothing close to a team to me right now!!!
I received a letter saying I'm gonna get full-colours award for my "achievements" in tennis.. But really, what have I achieved? The bright side of things is, I've made things more competitive in the team, so everyone had to step up their game.. I know its all a load of crap.. What's an award if I didn't achieve it with my own hands? Dad's gonna come back in time to go for the awards, but somehow, I don't feel like taking it on stage in front of him, or in front of anyone.. It just doesn't feel the same now as when I told him about the award on the phone..
GLs have had quite a busy opening week in school with the telematch.. I hope getting the GLs made them remember we're not only here for FOC.. Most of us regard the event as an advertisement for the GL recruitment.. I'm just glad it was good in keeping the freshies happy throughout.. For that, job well done to my fellow GLs, and the hardwork of the organizers..
The week has been tiring, even though I haven't done much.. Towards the end of the week, I got grouchy, and probably offended a few people.. I'm so sorry to all those I've shouted at, lost my temper on, passed bad remarks, or just plain ignored.. No one was to blame for it, and certaintly, non of you deserved it.. I'm so, so sorry.. Forgive me, really.. I'm at a lost, just exhausted from juggling things..
I went out with Mum and Ryl today.. At east coast, we went to walk at the beach after dinner.. Before we left, a guy appeared and made an announcement about a sand castle-building workshop.. I wondered what kind of workshop could be conducted in the open beach, but he did.. He was relating alot about building techniques to everyday life.. Some of them were just a load of crap, but most of them are really relevant, and I find it really "enlightening".. He's quite a wiseman apart from his skills in building sand castles.. Now here's an alternative to team-bonding activities..
A new week begins tomorrow.. I don't really feel like I want a holiday, when some of my peers are complaining about the Youth Day not given to poly students.. I jsut wanna go out and expend my energy to the fullest, do everything, make things right for the near future at least.. Can I do that? Its crazy, to many, but does anyone know what I really want to achieve? I doubt so.. So there's no need to sympathize, or even try to understand.. To my life, HERE I COME!!!
Its been really busy.. Holidays didn't seem like holidays, and I've been really busy.. I've met quite a few people, made some knew friends, and got to know more people better.. If I were to go through every activity over the holidays, its probably gonna be too big for this entry..
Now that school's started, I've gotta start placing studies under priority again.. Apart from that, there's lots to prioritize about.. Family, Work, Tennis, GLs, Friends, and maybe a new girl? Its all that's keeping me occupied.. I wanna play too! And I admitt, I've been using time in school alot for that..
But who really knows what I want.. I'm dead tired trying to strike a balance between everything.. Sure I've heard of "you can't have the best of both worlds", but I want the best of ALL the worlds! Ambitious, and probably stupid.. My common test papers have came back, and they are far from helping me achieve what I aim for this semester.. I keep thinking I can pull a miracle at the finish line like my OBC paper in year 1, but its all so far-fetched once I get knocked back down to earth..
Things in the team have only gotten worst for me.. Since the miraculous performance at the trials, my form has only slipped.. Was I at my peak then? Or maybe I've stopped watching Prince of Tennis? I've got no time, now that the tournament is just a little more than a week away.. I want to play for the team this year.. But everyone seems to be in a big click, which I'm not part of.. No one wants to pair with me for doubles drill, let alone practice doubles unless they are forced to.. Have I offended anyone? Said something wrong? It can't be my committment level.. TELL ME!!! I'M GOING NUTS!!! Its nothing close to a team to me right now!!!
I received a letter saying I'm gonna get full-colours award for my "achievements" in tennis.. But really, what have I achieved? The bright side of things is, I've made things more competitive in the team, so everyone had to step up their game.. I know its all a load of crap.. What's an award if I didn't achieve it with my own hands? Dad's gonna come back in time to go for the awards, but somehow, I don't feel like taking it on stage in front of him, or in front of anyone.. It just doesn't feel the same now as when I told him about the award on the phone..
GLs have had quite a busy opening week in school with the telematch.. I hope getting the GLs made them remember we're not only here for FOC.. Most of us regard the event as an advertisement for the GL recruitment.. I'm just glad it was good in keeping the freshies happy throughout.. For that, job well done to my fellow GLs, and the hardwork of the organizers..
The week has been tiring, even though I haven't done much.. Towards the end of the week, I got grouchy, and probably offended a few people.. I'm so sorry to all those I've shouted at, lost my temper on, passed bad remarks, or just plain ignored.. No one was to blame for it, and certaintly, non of you deserved it.. I'm so, so sorry.. Forgive me, really.. I'm at a lost, just exhausted from juggling things..
I went out with Mum and Ryl today.. At east coast, we went to walk at the beach after dinner.. Before we left, a guy appeared and made an announcement about a sand castle-building workshop.. I wondered what kind of workshop could be conducted in the open beach, but he did.. He was relating alot about building techniques to everyday life.. Some of them were just a load of crap, but most of them are really relevant, and I find it really "enlightening".. He's quite a wiseman apart from his skills in building sand castles.. Now here's an alternative to team-bonding activities..
A new week begins tomorrow.. I don't really feel like I want a holiday, when some of my peers are complaining about the Youth Day not given to poly students.. I jsut wanna go out and expend my energy to the fullest, do everything, make things right for the near future at least.. Can I do that? Its crazy, to many, but does anyone know what I really want to achieve? I doubt so.. So there's no need to sympathize, or even try to understand.. To my life, HERE I COME!!!