Thursday, May 17, 2007
Today's feeling is.............................
...IRRITATED!!!
Its sucky to be feeling all alone again... I don't have anyone to have long talks with anymore... No one who understands me, shares my joy, feels my sorrow... Everyone's caught in something else, and I'm not part of it... Do I really need to get a new life?
I know there's work to do, but I don't know where to begin cause I'm tired and there's too many to remember... What's still bogging my mind is that stupid nomination form... I suddenly had a huge feeling my name would be under the voided list tomorrow...
I've persuaded mum over and over again since last week to do something about the lousy router system at home... Apparently, she hasn't done anything about it and says she always forgets cause she doesn't use the computer much... Its really stupid cause when she uses the computer, she flares up and gets irritating when she realises the internet speed is really slow... Then when she called Starhub this evening (at last), she told me to follow the answering system's useless advice... Damn it larh!!!!!!! Of course there's f***ing internet connection!!! I know its the dumb router system that is at fault but she won't believe me... I went to do the bypass in the end but nothing works... I gave it up and went to bathe... When she saw me walking to the toilet she didn't ask me anything about how the bypass was, and instead she keeps moving away by talking about Elken stuff non-stop!!! YOU KNOW HOW IRRITATED I AM?!?!?! My e-learning week is just next week and its gonna defeat the purpose of e-learning week if I have to go back to school every darn day to use the internet! I've got no words to describe it... Irresponsible?! I wish I was like Alvin who takes charge of the internet stuff of his home...
I don't know what my sister really is to me... How can that little angel I highly anticipated to arrive into this world 11 years ago turn into one of the most vexing things I have at home?! At times she's really good, talks to me and shares fun... But recently its mostly been irritation and talking bad about me to my mum behind my back... She told my mum that I'm very serious with her... IF I'M SERIOUS, IT WOULD BE SERIOUSLY ANGRY!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't dare release my anger on her... For some crazy reason, I don't dare... I don't dare to release it on anyone either... Only a few occassions... Maybe it was the "aftermath" of those occasions that holds back the see and destroy function... Am I nice? Am I a coward? Is it because I don't dare to voice out? I always go back into my room and let all the pain gather... It hurts my heart alot... Literally...
What should I do? Get new friends? Get into something new? Seek comfort in a non-living thing? Go crazy? Turn into a totally different person? Or continue to be the one I am and continue to suffer it all inside?
...IRRITATED!!!
Its sucky to be feeling all alone again... I don't have anyone to have long talks with anymore... No one who understands me, shares my joy, feels my sorrow... Everyone's caught in something else, and I'm not part of it... Do I really need to get a new life?
I know there's work to do, but I don't know where to begin cause I'm tired and there's too many to remember... What's still bogging my mind is that stupid nomination form... I suddenly had a huge feeling my name would be under the voided list tomorrow...
I've persuaded mum over and over again since last week to do something about the lousy router system at home... Apparently, she hasn't done anything about it and says she always forgets cause she doesn't use the computer much... Its really stupid cause when she uses the computer, she flares up and gets irritating when she realises the internet speed is really slow... Then when she called Starhub this evening (at last), she told me to follow the answering system's useless advice... Damn it larh!!!!!!! Of course there's f***ing internet connection!!! I know its the dumb router system that is at fault but she won't believe me... I went to do the bypass in the end but nothing works... I gave it up and went to bathe... When she saw me walking to the toilet she didn't ask me anything about how the bypass was, and instead she keeps moving away by talking about Elken stuff non-stop!!! YOU KNOW HOW IRRITATED I AM?!?!?! My e-learning week is just next week and its gonna defeat the purpose of e-learning week if I have to go back to school every darn day to use the internet! I've got no words to describe it... Irresponsible?! I wish I was like Alvin who takes charge of the internet stuff of his home...
I don't know what my sister really is to me... How can that little angel I highly anticipated to arrive into this world 11 years ago turn into one of the most vexing things I have at home?! At times she's really good, talks to me and shares fun... But recently its mostly been irritation and talking bad about me to my mum behind my back... She told my mum that I'm very serious with her... IF I'M SERIOUS, IT WOULD BE SERIOUSLY ANGRY!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't dare release my anger on her... For some crazy reason, I don't dare... I don't dare to release it on anyone either... Only a few occassions... Maybe it was the "aftermath" of those occasions that holds back the see and destroy function... Am I nice? Am I a coward? Is it because I don't dare to voice out? I always go back into my room and let all the pain gather... It hurts my heart alot... Literally...
What should I do? Get new friends? Get into something new? Seek comfort in a non-living thing? Go crazy? Turn into a totally different person? Or continue to be the one I am and continue to suffer it all inside?