Tuesday, November 14, 2006
today was just low down in school... wouldn't say i was in a bad mood, rather, foul... i couldn't be bothered much about anything... just hoped i could get home and under my blanket as soon as possible
Physio Lecture
THE whole day just collapsed the moment i stepped into the lecture theatre... i saw two people in **** ****** next to each other... juz enough to really, really feel the blood brush against the ventricle walls of my heart, giving the pain "sensation"... i felt a mix of emotions... lots of thoughts just ran through my mind... i couldn't believe what i saw... it was too much for me to take all of a sudden... i didn't really pay attention in lecture, except to parts where i've never learned... at least i didn't attend lecture for nothing....
Lunch
LUNCH? what lunch? i was still in a daze over what i saw... i walked out of the LT alone, not intending to speak a word, so i didn't go find anyone... just sat alone near the tutorial rooms to study for the test... not like i could accomplish much anyway... still having crazy thoughts
MB Test
DAMN! argh! the test was everything i didn't study! the practical! well, i don't really pay much attention in class, i gotta admitt... can't blame it lah... but i was a really dissapointing result, even though i expected so... i really think i'm gonna have to study much harder... seeing the class still able to laugh and joke... haiz... really added on to the pain...
Maths Lecture
I snuck off alone again... purposely evading everyone... i got to the LT and chose the coldest possible spot so i'd be alone... XL was still crazy enough to sit next to me though he only had a t-shirt on top... it was just boring... learnt how to use that exponential formula... then it was back to LSCT
After School
HAIZ... dance practice again... well, we ain't been doing much, and we're gonna perform again soon... better do something... i was down, till augustine snatched the tennis ball from me while i was playing with it... well, soccer got me happier a little... it always does... dat's y i love it... "scored" two goals in a small 2-on-2 match... think i sweated cuz of the soccer rather than dance... haiz...
on the way out of school, my suspicions on two couples were comfirmed... happy for Jieying (a.k.a) mamacotary for finding happiness with Davin... funny, i didn't have the feeling of jealousy or envy for them despite what happened today... the other couple was Sulfri and Caryn... haiz... ok... the usual happened... i didn't wanna join them for dinner... feel so extra among them...
ok the day is bad enough... don't wanna talk anymore about it... well, i've got alot of thoughts today... i think everything is fitting into a big puzzle now... I'm having thoughts of quitting GLs... yea... well, from today, i thought everything is spiralling downwards because i didn't have the time... time to study, time to spend time with friends, time to relax and relief myself of all my problems... its because i return late from GLs all the time that my parents stopped me from staying out too much... or rather, i gotta return home as soon as possible or risk being forced to quit it... whatever it is, its really bogging my mind day in and day out, not giving me a worry free moment... well... i kinda wanna do this, even though my parents aren't pushing for it... from today, i realised i could survive school without much of my friends, since i've drifted so far from them, they're as good as acquaintances... well, good enough... at least there's people to say hi to when i'm walking around~
Physio Lecture
THE whole day just collapsed the moment i stepped into the lecture theatre... i saw two people in **** ****** next to each other... juz enough to really, really feel the blood brush against the ventricle walls of my heart, giving the pain "sensation"... i felt a mix of emotions... lots of thoughts just ran through my mind... i couldn't believe what i saw... it was too much for me to take all of a sudden... i didn't really pay attention in lecture, except to parts where i've never learned... at least i didn't attend lecture for nothing....
Lunch
LUNCH? what lunch? i was still in a daze over what i saw... i walked out of the LT alone, not intending to speak a word, so i didn't go find anyone... just sat alone near the tutorial rooms to study for the test... not like i could accomplish much anyway... still having crazy thoughts
MB Test
DAMN! argh! the test was everything i didn't study! the practical! well, i don't really pay much attention in class, i gotta admitt... can't blame it lah... but i was a really dissapointing result, even though i expected so... i really think i'm gonna have to study much harder... seeing the class still able to laugh and joke... haiz... really added on to the pain...
Maths Lecture
I snuck off alone again... purposely evading everyone... i got to the LT and chose the coldest possible spot so i'd be alone... XL was still crazy enough to sit next to me though he only had a t-shirt on top... it was just boring... learnt how to use that exponential formula... then it was back to LSCT
After School
HAIZ... dance practice again... well, we ain't been doing much, and we're gonna perform again soon... better do something... i was down, till augustine snatched the tennis ball from me while i was playing with it... well, soccer got me happier a little... it always does... dat's y i love it... "scored" two goals in a small 2-on-2 match... think i sweated cuz of the soccer rather than dance... haiz...
on the way out of school, my suspicions on two couples were comfirmed... happy for Jieying (a.k.a) mamacotary for finding happiness with Davin... funny, i didn't have the feeling of jealousy or envy for them despite what happened today... the other couple was Sulfri and Caryn... haiz... ok... the usual happened... i didn't wanna join them for dinner... feel so extra among them...
ok the day is bad enough... don't wanna talk anymore about it... well, i've got alot of thoughts today... i think everything is fitting into a big puzzle now... I'm having thoughts of quitting GLs... yea... well, from today, i thought everything is spiralling downwards because i didn't have the time... time to study, time to spend time with friends, time to relax and relief myself of all my problems... its because i return late from GLs all the time that my parents stopped me from staying out too much... or rather, i gotta return home as soon as possible or risk being forced to quit it... whatever it is, its really bogging my mind day in and day out, not giving me a worry free moment... well... i kinda wanna do this, even though my parents aren't pushing for it... from today, i realised i could survive school without much of my friends, since i've drifted so far from them, they're as good as acquaintances... well, good enough... at least there's people to say hi to when i'm walking around~