Wednesday, November 01, 2006
ITS 4.30 am in the morning~ i thought of watching soccer online cuz i cldn't get to sleep... darn moderators cldn't juz hold the channel there when the match begins... din have the mood to blog earlier either... today's (or rather, yesterday) was so moody, down, lousy~
Physio Lecture
Another slacky session... Eddie Ong juz came to show us a video and copy a few study points and ended his lecture... that was real slacky... if this keeps up, wonder if we'll ever finish our module...
Lunch
Naturally, lunch was early, a long break... I felt lousier, drifting from place to place cuz my friends had stuff to talk about together... i found myself lost among their conversations yet again, and only had this cup of ice-blend to accomodate my feelings~
Microbio tutorial
Probably the only time i had a real smile on my face... Dr Ho never fails to make me laugh... pwn-ing students here and there... we just went thru the tutorial i did yesterday and asked us around about our secondary school... she finally realized that the familiar look i have on my face is that of a christian brother's school student... bleagh... fine mebbe i do have it... then i tried talkin esmine out of quitting GLs... i don't fully know wad's going on for her but i hope she pulls thru well...
Maths lecture
Good grief i finally understand what range and domain is all about! but it took me quite some shooshing of my friends to do dat... i'm really sorry for it... but the time was drawing closer and i juz din care much about my surroundings... i was still bogged over training and tonight... i saw Rudy outside the LT during the break and felt even more guilt... no choice... tonight was important...
Home
This was probably the lowest point of the day... I tried spending more time with my family and make it look happy... nothing worked out... and after waiting and waiting we finally left for the airport... its drawing nearer...
Airport
Dad's gonna leave for work overseas... but its gonna be a long period of time... i'll miss him! greatly... i refused to answer my sister's probing question "what are your feelings now"... we met up with my uncle and his family at the airport... then we went down to mac's and mum went to get a cake to celebrate dad's birthday in advance... HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!! there was this beautiful girl we borrowed a lighter from... i walked over to offer her and her friend a piece of the cake each... thx ladies! sorry for disturbing u study... we had a few talks at the table while i was trying to do my microbio work... i din have the mood to do anything but juz sit there... obviously i din finish it... i tried taking as many pictures as i could to remember the whole thing... sadly... i didn't have any with dad and me...
It was time... dad's gonna walk through the departure gate... well, though it may seem like something small to some people, i cldn't bear parting with him for this long period... usually i'll be happy... but after the past few weeks of thinking, i really thought this was something different from the other occasional short trips... I wanna say i've always looked up to my dad for being a responsible man though he can be an a** at times... i hugged him a final time b4 he went in... my eyes wanted to tear, but it took me quite abit to hold them back... my relatives were still there! it was this time:
On our way out of the airport, the feeling of missing dad slowly crept into me... then he gave us a call... i thought it was nothing... but when it was my turn to the phone... i cldn't raise my voice loud enough to speak clearly... i was busy fighting back tears... this time... i couldn't hold anything back this time... my eyes just watered slowly... its the second time i've cried in a long time... i couldn't even say "take care" properly... i just passed the phone back to my mum after i hear him hang up... we walked passed mini toons... i bought the innocent tortoise plushie so i can remember today when i look at it by the bedside... i named it boo-boo,so i can think happy thoughts...
Dad has a neck for timings... he called us when we just got up the car... this time he spoke just to me... told me the usual stuff he's been preaching the past few days and gave me a number to copy down... this time i took his preaching seriously... i promise not to let his efforts go to waste...
Back home, when i just opened the door... dad called again... Cheryl got to the call but i didn't want to talk much cuz i didn't want to tear again... i just took a bath and added dad to my msn contacts... haha... pretty cool huh? now i can talk to dad when i'm in tutorials or when i'm free...
End of the day
I've not done my microbio assignment! F*** it! i can't find anything! I'm still tearing while i'm writing this post... it made me think of everything that happened a few hours ago... i realised, dat if i had to be sacked from the team for these moments, it was worth it... i cherished every bit... and regret to think that i would go for training instead... *stupid boy!!!* dat's about it... i hope i can do well in school later... gonna have to go take a bath and get ready now... got a long day ahead... Dad, take good care of urself! I'll miss you greatly~!
Physio Lecture
Another slacky session... Eddie Ong juz came to show us a video and copy a few study points and ended his lecture... that was real slacky... if this keeps up, wonder if we'll ever finish our module...
Lunch
Naturally, lunch was early, a long break... I felt lousier, drifting from place to place cuz my friends had stuff to talk about together... i found myself lost among their conversations yet again, and only had this cup of ice-blend to accomodate my feelings~
Microbio tutorial
Probably the only time i had a real smile on my face... Dr Ho never fails to make me laugh... pwn-ing students here and there... we just went thru the tutorial i did yesterday and asked us around about our secondary school... she finally realized that the familiar look i have on my face is that of a christian brother's school student... bleagh... fine mebbe i do have it... then i tried talkin esmine out of quitting GLs... i don't fully know wad's going on for her but i hope she pulls thru well...
Maths lecture
Good grief i finally understand what range and domain is all about! but it took me quite some shooshing of my friends to do dat... i'm really sorry for it... but the time was drawing closer and i juz din care much about my surroundings... i was still bogged over training and tonight... i saw Rudy outside the LT during the break and felt even more guilt... no choice... tonight was important...
Home
This was probably the lowest point of the day... I tried spending more time with my family and make it look happy... nothing worked out... and after waiting and waiting we finally left for the airport... its drawing nearer...
Airport
Dad's gonna leave for work overseas... but its gonna be a long period of time... i'll miss him! greatly... i refused to answer my sister's probing question "what are your feelings now"... we met up with my uncle and his family at the airport... then we went down to mac's and mum went to get a cake to celebrate dad's birthday in advance... HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!! there was this beautiful girl we borrowed a lighter from... i walked over to offer her and her friend a piece of the cake each... thx ladies! sorry for disturbing u study... we had a few talks at the table while i was trying to do my microbio work... i din have the mood to do anything but juz sit there... obviously i din finish it... i tried taking as many pictures as i could to remember the whole thing... sadly... i didn't have any with dad and me...
It was time... dad's gonna walk through the departure gate... well, though it may seem like something small to some people, i cldn't bear parting with him for this long period... usually i'll be happy... but after the past few weeks of thinking, i really thought this was something different from the other occasional short trips... I wanna say i've always looked up to my dad for being a responsible man though he can be an a** at times... i hugged him a final time b4 he went in... my eyes wanted to tear, but it took me quite abit to hold them back... my relatives were still there! it was this time:
On our way out of the airport, the feeling of missing dad slowly crept into me... then he gave us a call... i thought it was nothing... but when it was my turn to the phone... i cldn't raise my voice loud enough to speak clearly... i was busy fighting back tears... this time... i couldn't hold anything back this time... my eyes just watered slowly... its the second time i've cried in a long time... i couldn't even say "take care" properly... i just passed the phone back to my mum after i hear him hang up... we walked passed mini toons... i bought the innocent tortoise plushie so i can remember today when i look at it by the bedside... i named it boo-boo,so i can think happy thoughts...
Dad has a neck for timings... he called us when we just got up the car... this time he spoke just to me... told me the usual stuff he's been preaching the past few days and gave me a number to copy down... this time i took his preaching seriously... i promise not to let his efforts go to waste...
Back home, when i just opened the door... dad called again... Cheryl got to the call but i didn't want to talk much cuz i didn't want to tear again... i just took a bath and added dad to my msn contacts... haha... pretty cool huh? now i can talk to dad when i'm in tutorials or when i'm free...
End of the day
I've not done my microbio assignment! F*** it! i can't find anything! I'm still tearing while i'm writing this post... it made me think of everything that happened a few hours ago... i realised, dat if i had to be sacked from the team for these moments, it was worth it... i cherished every bit... and regret to think that i would go for training instead... *stupid boy!!!* dat's about it... i hope i can do well in school later... gonna have to go take a bath and get ready now... got a long day ahead... Dad, take good care of urself! I'll miss you greatly~!